![]() Want even more? Subscribe to my newsletter to get roundups, book recs and lifestyle tips. To see more writing from me, be sure to subscribe to The Bitter Lemon by clicking “subscribe” on the right side of your screen. I think it’s time this crazy cowgirl hopped on a horse in search of a watering hole where my kind will be – something tells me Miranda Lambert will be there, and I’m okay with that. And guys wonder why we drink wine every night and eat loads of pizza! Well, because cheese happens, and wine washes away our shame from actually eating, and from going off-the-charts crazy. This leads me to the other problem with the Crazy Hot Matrix: the shame. I was thinking about a matrix for men, but I couldn’t think of only two characteristics to measure. I’m just another crazy one, flailing her arms for attention. I’m no longer that fantastical pony with glittery hair (#goals). I feel like whatever fire was between us, has fizzled, because I did the ultimate thing you’re not supposed to do - I acted crazy. ![]() There were tumbleweeds and rusted spurs, until I called him and we agreed it was a miscommunication.īut if I’m being totally honest, I can’t shake it. I wanted an apology and he wasn’t going to give it. My crush and I were in a little bit of a stand-off after I tried to explain myself to him. So, here’s the part the Crazy Hot Matrix fails to explain: what happens to all of us in the “No Zone”? I’ve tried for years to either hide it, or pretend shit doesn’t bother me, because dammit, I’m not crazy, I’m a pretty little unicorn! ![]() I’ve got insecurities, daddy issues, and baggage out of my ass. He’s successful, attractive, loves kids and animals, and he even calls me sometimes - really, it’s overwhelming how all-around hot he is.Īnd then there’s me. I told him I could “take a hint.” So, I put my phone on silent and tried my damnedest to remove him from my brain (read: I went shopping).īut here’s the thing. As a relationship columnist, blogger, and author, nearly every romantic interaction I’ve had is out there for anyone to read.Īnd, being a writer, I analyze everything.Ī few weekends ago, a guy I’ve had a crush on for most of my life, really did something to grind my gears.įrom my perspective, he was attempting to blow me off by continually telling me how busy he was. One thing I’ve noticed in the past month is that I’ve got a lot of things working against me in the crazy department. It can shut down an entire argument with just one word. How’s that for crazy?Ī guy calling a girl crazy is a very simple, easy way of dismissing our feelings. Stop being crazy.”Īnd in that moment, I want light his car on fire. “Holly, I told you I had to do this one thing today. This results in me getting huffy, and the guy delivers one of these bombs: When a guy has one thing on his to-do list, and that one thing is absolutely more important than the 100 things I’ve got on mine. Women also have their own version called the ‘ cute money matrix ‘ which determines a man’s desirability on their attractiveness and wealth. When I’ve done these so-called “crazy” things, they have always been fueled by someone, usually a man, doing something to piss me off. Based on a graphical representation of men’s dating options based on rating women on two dimensions: hot (attractiveness) and crazy (emotion volatility).
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